Bert & Ernie Refusing to Come Out... For Now
Despite Sesame Street’s writers denying their characters Bert and Ernie are gay, the rainbow community continues to hold up a torch for the puppet couple.
“We know that deep down Bert and Ernie are totally gay. They just haven’t come out yet”, said Bob Pryor, a New York Gay Rights representative told Fox News yesterday.
Even so, Sesame Street is emphatic. “Look they’re just puppets. They don’t have a sexual orientation. In fact, Bert was styled off one of the writer’s uncle Arnold. And he was asexual”, a defiant producer (preferring to remain anonymous) declared yesterday, “We just want preschoolers to learn to read and learn to count. Why can’t people understand that?”
Speculation that Sesame Street would finally reveal the puppet pair are in a longstanding gay relationship have been dashed once more. Bob Pryor, though, is philosophical. “Nothing has changed. We know that. But one day we hope Bert and Ernie will finally reveal their true feelings and let the world know they’re coming out.”
Just don’t tell Elmo, yeah?