Bloody Cats (and Dogs)
Cats are famously funny critters. Never mind their rise in fame through Grumpy Cat. Or how, thanks to Cheezburger, they took control of the Web.
Cats are wild. Well, enough that they do some very strange things. And that's their X factor.
Now, I know stacks of people don’t like cats. Maybe a parent told them how evil they were. How they spit and scratch and scream… and that cats did that too.
Or, perhaps they were attacked by a cat as they went out into the darkness of night, looking for the outdoor privy, with nothing but a candle or the glow of a watchface. Watching too many horror movies. About cats.
Whatever! Cats are more like thoughtful aliens. They mean you no harm. Better yet, they’d rather mooch around looking plush and chilled than take over the planet. Surely, that’s got to be a plus.
It surprises me that some people choose dogs instead of cats. Like, since when was it a competition?
First prize goes to dogs. Second prize goes to cats. Third prize to guinea pigs. And the lucky door prize goes to… husbands (yes, they make excellent pets if house trained).
Bung ‘em together and dogs and cats tend to get along fine. At least, if they start when they’re young and have some good parenting. Lousy parents should have their pet licences cancelled Then be made to scoop up dog crap in the neighbourhood as punishment for a month.
That’s fair enough isn’t it? Okay, make it three months. Yeah!
And while a dog will mostly do what they’re told, cats keep a bit more of their wild desires. So they like to hide, go and check things out, and strike mysterious poses. Because… they can.
So, whilst dogs act very suspiciously if there’s a mysterious turd on the bathroom floor. Cats just look at the do. Then the turd, and then the dog as if to say, “How could you?”
Cats are bloody smart about things like that. Whereas, dogs plead guilty to everything. Then start pleading for forgiveness.
Meanwhile, cats are just happy if you’re nice to them, and feed them what they like. Basically, teaching you to be a good and faithful servant.
And because they aren’t too domesticated, cats will do the weirdest things. Like leap backwards into the air, hitch their tail up and dance around the floor making warbling noises at random. And why not? Being a cat with a friendly owner must be fun.
For them, we’re like barely hairy baboons. Minus tails.
Get a nice owner and a cat or dog is likely to have a good life. But if they get a couldn’t care less type pseudo baboon, pets just have to tough it out. Making the best of their dud human.
But usually, cats and dogs enjoy cohabiting with us. If we are agreeable, they like including us into their world. Showing us what life is like just above floor height.
If the family are friendly, then they love being included too. That means giving us humans things to do. Like: getting food, providing somewhere nice to hang out, talking to them, and giving out friendly pats.
Cats find us curious too. Trying to work out why we do the stuff we do. Come to think of it, that’s a good question.
At the end of the day, cats and dogs get to know your habits. And, it’s kind of nice how they accept you just the way you are (unlike most other barely hairy baboons who are far more picky).
If you treat cats well, they’ll tend to accept you. And even like you, too. Just like dogs, they’ll suss you out and find out who you really are. Be cold and they’ll avoid you. Friendly, and they’ll consider adopting you for life.
Reckon there’s plenty of dodgy people that could learn from that. But, if they can’t be civil, keep them watching cat and canine videos. If nothing else, they’ll learn how to leap backwards into the air, hitch their rear up and dance around the floor making random warbling noises. Or, even better, feel guilty and beg for forgiveness.