Don’t "Facebook" Me!

Don’t "Facebook" Me!

Cool people don’t use Facebook. They call it "FB". That’s code for Facebook. Cool people call it that. But they still don’t use it.

It’s only for older people and younger kids pretending to be thirteen. As you know, it all happens then. Life begins when you’re thirteen. Only, I’m trying to think how (that’s how old I am). All I know is, you get more detentions at school when you’re thirteen. Says it all.

It’s only for older people and kids pretending to be thirteen.

Now old mate, Mr Facebook, says you’ve probably been hacked. Yep.  Reckons “your data has probably been scraped by malicious actors”.  Guess that means there are a lot of anxious actors in Hollywood right now, worried that their precious scam has finally been blown.

Reckon they are all pulling sour faces as they’re being led out by the cops, saying, “We would’ve got away with it too, if it wasn’t for you darn kids!

Learned that from Scooby Do, and a dozen other cartoons – makes you street savvy.

Drilling down on this, I’m not 100% which ones are to blame though. Could be the ones who played the bad guys. Sure it’s only a hop, step, and jump from being an action movie baddy to scraping people’s FB. Probably twirling their moustache, and laughing like psychopaths. Bit like Amazon’s Alexa - only she doesn’t have any facial hair (or, a body for that matter).

The world is getting dangerouser and dangerouser. That’s what my English Teacher used to say. And Mr Facebook has admitted it as such.

Right now, there could be a gang of B grade Hollywood or even Bollywood actors scraping away feverishly at your Facebook account. Trying to find out what your favourite books are, and how many cat clips you’ve clicked ‘Like’ to. Like I said, it’s a dangerous situation.

So far, Mr Z isn’t giving away who these actors are or what movies they’ve been in. Nor, has he detailed what the scraping involved or how much damage has been done.  Probably his insurance company has told him not to admit liability for any scrapes. Can see that.

I reckon one of them could have been Gollum.

At this stage, best thing to do is the following. Carefully. First, check around the headlights, and bumper. That’s a common spot where you get scrapes, dings, and touch ups. Also, check out around the doors, the rear, and around the wheel rims.

If there are no sign of scrapes then you’re probably fine. Probably worrying your self sick over nothing. Probably getting carried away. Probably want to see the Doc. soon about that scraping habit you’ve picked up. 

As for those malicious actors, I reckon one of them could have been Gollum. That’s a heads up! So, if someone pokes you with a long wet finger and says he wants to get precious, don’t –whatever you do – add him or click ‘Like’.

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