Weddings. That’s right, I’m talking about marriage and stuff.
When you meet someone and fall in love, you know something big is going to happen. That’s when some people decide to live together. That way they can work out which one leaves the cap off the toothpaste and who needs to use more deodorant.
But it all catches up when the live together stayers and those who hang on in hope decide they might as well make it legal. Seems fair enough. Except that’s when your whole relationship goes off the charts.
Suddenly, mothers get involved and all hell breaks loose. You wanted something intimate and special with the accent on romantic. Instead, next thing you know, that cherished wedding plan gets hijacked. That nuptial garden banquet with 60 guests turns into a full on spectacular, complete with marching girls, trampolinists, competing Mariachi Bands, and tables for 250 set like a circle to fend off the solo bugler.
Out of nowhere, 70 of your ‘closest’ relatives – some pushing 100 plus and barely aware your there – absolutely have to come.
That’s a big reason there are so many tears at weddings. Aside from the whole, “I’ve lost my little baby” thing, Mothers also cry because Uncle Kevin didn’t make it. While, Fathers cry inside, worrying how they are going to pay for the reception.
But weddings are good. Don’t get me wrong. They’re a good time, and it flushes out all the rellies you never knew you had.
Of course, you can’t remember them. Worse if you’ve never met. And there’s always a bunch chipped off because they’re not sitting on the right side or they’re sitting too close to the mens room. But, really, weddings are a bit like confetti and rice. You just can’t let them get up your nose.
And that's what's so weird about a wedding. So many people plan it out to perfection... like it’s a space mission to Mars or a deep sea dive in a submersible.
“T minus ten and counting. Have we got the bride? Roger that. Activate doors and initiate music selection!"
Yet, a couple of years on who remembers anything, much less the guests?
Be better off if you had Alzheimer’s. Then, you could forget about the wedding altogether (even before you had it). Then you could use the money you saved on… whatever it was you forgot about for… whatever it is you forgot you wanted to do. Hmm, forget that idea.
But that’s what a wedding is like a decade or so on. A pile of photos in an album you gradually stopped looking at (partly because you’re either embarrassed about how you looked back then or how you look now).
Then there’s all those had to come guests. Now, you no longer keep in touch with a bunch of them. That’s reasonable for some, given a few have died. But the rest? Well… You probably could recognise most if you had to (like in a police line up).
Life just moves on by. And all those fading memories of the day that mattered more than so many others, now seems like a dream. Hopefully, a happy one.
As they say, there’s nothing quite like a wedding and I reckon that’s just as well.