25 Funny Sayings And “Qoutes”
Yeah, I know. You're right. It’s not “funny sayings and 'qoutes'”. it’s “quotes.” But being in a contrarian mood, I wanted to change it round. Just to make sure you're awake.
Besides, saying funny sayings and “qoutes” highlights the way we think. We see differences more than sameness. That explains why variety gets you a little bit excited.
While repetition makes your eyelids droop.
That's why I have supplied a fresh serving of 25 sayings and “qoutes” (just testing you again). To keep your pulse up. Get you excited. Put a bit of a thrill into your life... Okay, I'm exaggerating. But you've got to admit, it's better than 90% of the texts most people get. So read on, keep seated and don't get too excited...
- “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain. And most do.” Anon
- “Confusion not only reigns, it pours.” Anon
- “Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.” Woody Allen
- “Stupidity in a woman is unwomanly.” Friedrich Nietzsche
- “Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?” Anon
- “Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?” Anon
- “Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.” Anon
- “Don't squat with your spurs on.” Old cowboy saying
- “Don't use a big word where a diminutive option will suffice.” Anon
- “The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.” Albert Einstein
- “Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.” Anon
- “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” Isaac Asimov
- “I put so much thought into your gift it's now too late to get it.” Anon
- “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” Steven Wright
- “If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?” Milton Berle
- “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” Unknown
- “Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” Barbra Streisand
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” Oscar Wilde
- “What is it with Santa? Works one day a year and spends the other 364 days judging who has been naughty or nice.” Anon
- “My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.” Ashleigh Brilliant
- “Every morning is the dawn of a new error.” Anon
- "The four most important words in any marriage...'Ill do the dishes.'" Anon
- “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” Emo Philips
- “You can't have everything...where would you put it?” Steven Wright
- “He who hesitates is probably right.” Anon