Stupid Insurance

Stupid Insurance

Funny how some companies make themselves look foolish.  Like, life insurance firms. Stupid firms interrogate potential customers with the most silly questions, believing they are doing their bit.

Forget the glossy brochures and big money image. Every corporation relies  on the calibre of their employees. So, if the staff are a brick short of a load, you can expect some of the questioning to be a bit on the strange side.

Will you ever make a claim?”

Friend of mine wanted to up their life insurance (because his broker told him so). So off he toddled to the firm he recommended. The went through an interview, thinking it would be done and dusted after that. 

Nope.

Instead, he started getting strange phone calls at all hours, from different people representing Coconut Insurance. Each, kept asking the same questions in ever stranger ways.

“So, you want to have life insurance Carol? Tell me, do you enjoy good health?”

“Yes”

 “You do? That’s good. What about cancer?”

“Nobody in our family has had cancer. Though… I’ve got a friend at work who once had skin cancer. But he had it cut out.”

“Uh huh. This friend, how well do you know him?”

“Really well”.

“Hmm. Then have you been checked out in case you’ve caught it from him?"

 “What?”

“Let me ask you, Carol. Have you ever had a disease that has had side effects?”

“Err…”

“Has anyone in your family ever been really sick?”

“Well, um...”

“Have you ever lied, Carol?”

“Pardon me?”

“When do you expect to die” Say yes to either: 1 year, from now... 5 years... 10 years.. 20…”

And so it went. Apart from being stupid to call up Carol at 11.00 at night, the questions were bizarre.

Of course, you get nut jobs in every field. But these ones were truly away with the fairies. And I've come across a few other people with similar situations.  I even made a list because the questions seemed that weird. 

  1. “Do you ever feel bloated? Or, do you know anybody who gets bloated?”
  2. “Do you feel comfortable with your doctor, and if so how much?”
  3. “Have you ever had a sore back ? Or, do you think you could get a sore back one day?”
  4. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you describe your health/ and your great grandparents’ health. What about your pets?”
  5. “Can you explain in at least 250 words why you would like insurance?”
  6. “Have you ever met someone who was denied insurance?
  7. “Will you ever make a claim?”
  8. “Can you prove that you want to be insured?”
  9. “Have you ever felt like eating foods that have carcinogenic ingredients? When did that occur?” [And, finally, for the ultimate personal question:}
  10. "May I ask you what colour your urine is today?”
Did he say "Mondogreen"?

Did he say "Mondogreen"?

What is it About Names?

What is it About Names?

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