High School End of the Year Report Card Comments Revealed

High School End of the Year Report Card Comments Revealed

Soon as you read, “These high school end of the year report card comments are genuine,” you know someone is pulling your leg. But it might be true for some of them. 

“His love of the sea is obvious”  (Translates to: if you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean).”
  • “Brian has concentrated single-mindedly on music appreciation this term. However, this earns him no marks in home economics”
  • “I’m afraid there’s no way round it. Cynthia is a sandwich short of a cut lunch”
  • “Gerald is producing his best work...unfortunately” 
  • ”If  John’s was in his ideal environment he'd be locked in a life and death struggle with mushrooms”
  • “Since Ian’s first report, he has now reached rock bottom… and is starting to dig”
  • “Though Justin isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, he does give things a good go” 
  • “Yes, the wheel is turning. But, sadly, the hamster is dead”
  • “Tyler’s work makes about as much sense as putting an ashtray on a motorbike”
  • “Putting it bluntly, Leslie suffers from verbal diarrhoea” 
  • “Mary is always in the right place, but at the wrong time”
  • “Bob is so laid back he’d struggle to beat a snail on Valium”
  • “Sharee has what I’d call a photographic memory. So it’s such a shame that she leaves the lens cap on”

You can tell when a teacher is struggling to say something positive. Check out these Freudian slips: 

  • “Angela likes to test her limits, so she is always trying in class”    
  • "Put it this way, Simon’s output in woodwork has been rather limited this year. Recently, after a great deal of effort, he only managed to produce one small stool"  
  • “Terry has tons of energy and stamina. Like a battery he just goes and goes. While he has a strong ability to focus, he needs appropriate outlets for his plentiful energy" (Translates to: this kid won’t sit still and buzzes round all day like a bee in a bottle)
  • “Despite Roger having a high self-esteem, he lacks credible skills in this field to pass” (Translates to: Roger thinks he is a legend in his own lunchtime)
  • “George tries hard, but….”  (Translates to: Sigh!)
  • “Russell enjoys class. But being very sociable, his work tends to suffer”   (Translates to: mouth constantly in gear, but brain stuck in neutral).
  • “Chrissy is incredibly enthusiastic…”   (Translates to: Chrissy talks so much, she disrupts the entire class)
  • “Jack is still evolving…”   (Not particularly complimentary. Suggests he is still at the larval stage, pupating)
  • “Tom enjoys the more forceful sports”   (Translates to: this child is so frighteningly violent we've called the cops twice)
  • “His love of the sea is obvious”  (Translates to: if you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean).

Perhaps the only thing missing are high school end of year report cards for teachers and the principal, written by the kids. Now wouldn't that be interesting... 

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