How's Your Helleborus?
I like gardening. Correction. I like the idea of gardening. Just not working like a navvy shovelling dung all day for my jollies.
Still, there's something about gardeners that’s really attractive. Maybe it's their down to earth nature. Or their fascination with cultivation that makes them so interesting. On the surface you could safely say gardeners are a lovely bunch.
Mind you, lumping all green thumbs together into one category is misleading. A small few aren't as peachy as they seem.
You don't want to compare some weedy nutter madly forking away in his rose bed, with a gentle granny tending her lemons. Or, tenderly sweeping up leaves around her birdbath.
But on the whole, your average gardener's fascination with plants seems to bring out their best. I mean, it's not like they start ranting at their pellagonium for not going into flower. Or, bludgeoning their burdock for who knows what.
Gardening enthusiasts tend to be friendly and hardworking. Whilst, getting their hands filthy and even putting their back out seems reasonable for the cause.
Plus, they have unbelievable patience. Growers get excited about the wonders of garden life. Keeping watch for the arrival of tiny green shoots after months of dormancy, they'll rush into the kitchen announcing the fact with all the drama of a fresh Royal Wedding.
Yep. Gardeners get excited over the tiniest things. Eagerly awaiting the prospect of new blooms and celebrating progress in their leafy domain, they are definitely a bit 'special'.
But don't mistake their kindness for weakness. Despite their calm appearance, gardeners are into hard graft. Plus, your typical green thumb is ready to kill at a moment's notice.
Wander past any old dear's yard and chances are, she'll be squeezing the life out of a hungry aphid between her fingernails. Or, stamping on some snail that slid into her cauliflower bed.
They all do it. Natural born killers. You wouldn't think so. But, I can tell you, you wouldn't want to be a weevil in a gardener's yard. Too violent.
So, don't think for a moment that gardeners are frail weaklings. Not a bit. For your own safety, show them respect and admire their gladiolus, lest they try and pluck your buds (and I can tell you, that hurts).