The True Love Calculation Lie

The True Love Calculation Lie

Here's the good news and the bad news. Which do you want first? Okay. Brace yourself. You can't find your life partner and have a happy marriage because some company comes up with some true love calculation. It's bollocks. Sorry to be that blunt. But it's one almighty con. And here's why.

Everybody wants someone to love them. And they might even have a nice guy or girl in mind. They look good. But will they be Mr/Ms Right? It's difficult to know straight up. So, instead of taking time to find out, a quick true love calculation provides an answer. Not 'the' answer, mind. Just 'an' answer. 

Finding out your common areas of interest helps, for sure. Not denying that. No point arguing the toss if she likes getting blind drunk every Saturday night. While he likes staying home all weekend arranging his snail collection.

That's a disaster waiting to happen. Not least for the snails when she comes home at 3.00am and does a technicolour yawn right smack in their habitat.

The good news... is that, there are people who would love to spend their days with you and enjoy your company in every sense.”

No, compatibility on interests matters. But more than that is having shared values. How would it be if Mr Right has taken a vow of silence while Ms Right likes to talk the leg of an iron pot? He believes silence is golden. She believes talking is joy.

Not looking good for a match are they?

Then again, he could provide all the silence she needs to fill with chatter. But generally, stuff like deciding about having kids or not, views about life, and what you really believe, ought to tie together because it helps a lot.

But if someone calls it a true love calculation then that's like saying a sandwich is a portable life sustenance portion (with lettuce). It's just a stupid label.

Even if you do have heaps in common and share the same values and enjoy each other's interests, that still not enough. You might know lots of people who share those same values and interests. Doesn't mean you do cartwheels at their feet. 

Nah. The true love calculation lie is that some test can tell you who you'll fall in love with.

As if.

A list of compatible areas with similarly ticked boxes is no way enough. What if, like I said, they don't get your heart all a flutter? (Guess you could take a defibrillator to your date. But you shouldn't need to.)

Surely, that's a bad sign.

Then there's a whole lot of subtle stuff that only comes out in the wash over time. And, no, I don't mean bellybutton fluff.

There's a chemistry to good love matches. You can't get a computer to spit out an analysis that you're perfectly suited to live with someone for the rest of your life. No computer can tell you that! Come to think of it, you can't even be sure they'll do your power bills properly.

Talk about a risk.

Nah. Eek-Hominy's true love compatibility test, for example, can only show you people you might like. But that's like shopping for cars. Sure, you'll narrow the field. But what if the engine turns out to clapped? Or there's hidden rust where you can't see without a torch? 

It's not good.

Sure you can check their teeth. But as any good horse trader knows, anyone can cover a flaw with a lick of boot polish.

You've got to spend time with people to really get to know them. Weather every season. Work out problems together and build something stronger than in-fat... fatu..a... yeah. In fat. That's it. Build something stronger than fat. Maybe even some muscles. Yeah, love muscles. No, not those ones. The ones that flex and handle disappointments and misunderstandings when stuff goes pear shaped.

They're not even in the true love calculation (lie) list.

Instead, I reckon widening your circle and giving time to people you admire, respect, and adore is a better way.  Just as polishing yourself up on the inside is a good thing too. And, no, I don't mean going gulping down tons of fibre (though go your hardest, if you're keen).

The good news (and I know you thought I'd forgotten to mention it) is that, there are people who would love to spend their days with you and enjoy your company in every sense. And, best of all, you can be yourself (well, preferably your best self). 

Just keep a healthy flow of people going through your life and make your ways appealing. Be kind. Not a critic. Forgive and accept. And skip bitching by replacing it with gratitude. 

The more qualities of character we own the more attractive we become. Even if our wrapping is, well, a bit ho hum. There's not a person on Earth who couldn't improve. And if we want the best then we need to be someone else's best.

But if that's too hard, don't worry. You can try my Acme True Love Calculation Pop Your Cork Monitor. Yep, for only a squillion down you too can find your own true love.

Like I said: too easy..  

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36 Birthday Quotes

Weird Really

Weird Really