Where Do Socks Go?
Where do your socks go? Are they hiding under the bed? Or, buried under the others at the back of your drawer? Wherever they’re hiding, that odd sock you desperately need won’t be to hand when you want it most. That's an unwritten law of life. Only I've just written it.
If you’re not the most organised person in your neighbourhood, you probably won’t think twice about the odd thirty lost socks you’ve got. Your morning mantra is basically: "Where my bloody sock?!
But if you’re more the fastidious kind, who keeps an inventory for everything, then you’ll be alarmed your system has broken down. Surely it can't have vanished. Or can it?
You might not be surprised but some weird scientific theories have actually been suggested to explain the lost sock issue. Apart from microscopic black holes popping up in the spinning vortex of your washing machine, another doozy explains it with string theory. That's because the fabric of the space time continuum had to come into it somehow.
But according to this kooky concept, your lost socks have wiggled their way through a wormhole into another part of the universe, never to be seen again.
Or, perhaps the scientific concept of entropy might be a better fit. That is, anything complex (and socks can be - especially with a reinforced double stitching in the toeline) breaks down over time.
That explains why a nice pair of neatly folded or balled socks is here one day. Then, a few weeks later, go their separate way.
When you least expect it, you innocently turn your back for just a moment and what happens? That sock has gone. Even if you’re a ninja sock watcher, when an odd socks sneaks off to do whatever socks do, it does an Elvis and seems to have left the building.
Because socks are bloody tricky to find when you're still half asleep, I've got a few workarounds:
- Buy multiple pairs in the first place. So, you lose a sock? No problem when there are five other pairs to share the wear.
- Rummage through everyone else’s socks. This is likely to trigger a fair bit of swearing between family members. But they'll get over it.
- Get a box and call it your Lost Socks Box. Then when one goes AWOL, put its partner in the Lost Socks Box. Then you can do voiceovers to the family. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a lost sock. Answers to the name of Richard. But he can't find his identical twin. If you see him, please take him immediately to the Lost Socks Box, as there will be a small reward." Simple.