You're Kidding Right?
We are funny creatures really. With all of our mental ability and years of experience, we're all just kids inside. Pretending.
Like when we try dieting. That's one of the funniest of all human behaviours. No kidding. Because we end up bargaining our way back to getting what we want to eat anyway. Just like kids.
You are all primed and ready to shop “properly” and say, “No, I'm not buying any ice cream this week. Or, chocolate! Nope. They're not on the diet. Not good for us. No, no ice cream. Or chocolate. No, I'm not kidding. I'm serious.
An hour later at the supermarket. "Hmm, it does look pretty good. Maybe if I only have a little bit. Hey, this one is on special! Chocolate Whipple Scrumptious Delight Ice Cream. With choc bits! If I have that then I won't be tempted to buy chocolate as well. So I can have more. Way to go!"
This bargaining thing is kinda weird in a way. Because we're only talking to ourselves. Kidding ourselves that we're being reasonable. Like three year olds do when they negotiate with themselves out loud.
Same goes for smokers who tell everyone they're going to quit in the New Year. Then when things fall over they to kid themselves that it was out of their control.
"Look the ciggy just fell in my hand. No kidding. I didn't even light it. Then before I knew it, the cigarette jumped up to my mouth. Lit. That's when I had to give it the kiss of life. Keep breathing into it every few seconds. Then a rescued a few more."
Same goes for home gym equipment and the "You watch. I'm gonna be a god/goddess by Christmas." Suddenly, there’s a Mega Muscle Flex 2000 device in a box by the door. Along with a Vibrabutt Freedom Machine with bonus (I kid you not) Cellulite Scarafier (Ouch!).
Of course, you know how it ends. Three days: exhausting but fantastic. Three weeks: missed a few days, but it's coming on. Three months? Oh, those things? Nah. Rubbish. Advertised on Craigslist/Gumtree. No takers yet. Thinking of doing liposuction instead (only kidding).